One Miles per hour

My Swedish American love story.

life with Miles….

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Life with Miles has actually been a lot easier than both Marcus & I thought it would be. He is what I would like to call an “easy” baby. He isn’t much of a cryer (though he has/had his moments) and love to interact and go places. I would say he definitely has my personality when it comes to getting bored in one place & needing lots of attention and excitement…. which isn’t always a bad thing. 🙂

In the beginning everything was done so gently and with caution and fear since both of us had NO IDEA what we were doing. Since I had a c section we got to stay 5 nights in the hospital with around the clock care and attention along with meals throughout the day for both of us which was amazing!

When we left and loaded Miles into the car we both looked at each other with a look of “oh shit” and continued on our way home.

From dirty diapers to breastfeeding in public we got through it all. Unfortunately there is too much to blog about and I don’t want to start from day 1 but let’s just say we made a good team and figured it all out. Now I breastfeed wherever, whenever (with a cover of course) and can change a diaper with my eyes closed. Miles is developing quite the little personality & makes us laugh all day long with his cute sounds and reactions to almost anything we do.

He almost sleeps through the night now going to bed around 7:30/8pm after a bath given by daddy and doesn’t wake till close to 3/4am for a quick feed and snuggle back to bed. He attempts to wake again around 5/6 am and based on how cranky he is I either nurse him back to bed or soothe him with my hand and his pacifier in bed with us. He usually sleeps with us till 7/8 when he wakes up and wants to play 🙂

He love his play gym, swing, bouncy chair and sometimes even just sitting in our laps or laying next to us kicking away at our legs while we go about our business. We hike, swim and do almost everything with Miles and now that I have started to work with some clients in the community again to bring in more of a paycheck I bring him with me while Marcus studies, works out or goes to school.

So far so good & Miles is almost 4 1/2 months now and growing up so fast!

He takes daddy and me swim lessons saturday mornings at a local swim school aSwim with Phynnd loves it! He even does submersions and is learning to hold his breath underwater! Yay Miles!

Marcus is almost finished with his semester and May 30th we will be heading to Stockholm, Sweden to spend two months with his family and all of our friends… with Miles of course! His baptism is scheduled to happen in June at the church Marcus was baptized in and we can’t wait!

Now time for the fun blogging to begin….

comment or question if I left out anything
puss xoxo

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Breastfeeding 101

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From the day I found out i was pregnant I started harassing the internet and reading every book I could on pregnancy and the first year after baby is born. I read everything from feeding, bathing, sleeping to playing, talking and walking. I knew from the very beginning that breastfeeding was the ultimate choice and way to go!

I had heard horror stories from friends about painful nipples from baby latching incorrectly to the pain you suffer from engorgement. I was obviously terrified to start and had no idea what I was doing but I knew it was the best thing and something I strongly believed in …

The doctors instantly attempted to get baby to latch after I recovered. Unfortunately the window of opportunity is from the second baby is born to 2 hours after making it easier and the chances of a good latch from start higher had passed for me as I was going on 4 hours later.
Anyways the latch was fine, a little sore but bearable. After sucking for close to 1-2 minutes Miles fell asleep. We struggled with keeping him awake for more than a few minutes without sucking himself to sleep. 2 days passed with this constant issue and me realizing I was still only producing colostrum (the thick creamy yellow white substance that comes when baby is born for the first few days till the “milk” comes in). Since this was the most important part of breastfeeding I let him suck out all he could then pumped the last couple drops and fed him it through the worlds tiniest bottle.

I luckily had no issues with nipple confusion and he has taken a pacifier since the first week of birth. Once my milk came in my nipples were a little sore so I used silicon nipple protectors which he didn’t mind while they healed, these actually improved his latch!

After a few days of healing all was well and the covers came off, Miles at first favored one breast but I continued to push him onto the other as much as possible till he eventually took both!

I am so lucky to have such an awesome little b-feeder still to this day! Both sides work perfectly, his latch doesn’t hurt, he will take any position I give it to him in & best of all if I’m not around I have tons of milk in my freezer and he’s fine with taking a bottle from daddy !

Let me know if you have any breastfeeding questions, comments or concerns! I would love to help!

p.s. I have absolutely nothing against those that formula feed and I know not all of us are as lucky as I was. I had a friend who struggled with bleeding, raw, sore nipples for months and continued to push through and get past it and I have mom who say it just wasn’t for them or they couldn’t produce enough, had troubles latching, felt uncomfortable or could only BF for the first few weeks before returning to work.
To each their own and I don’t judge! Being a mom is the hardest but most rewarding job I have ever had and I tip my hat to every mom out there no matter how they choose to feed baby!

🙂

The best day of my life

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December 3rd 2013 I woke up… even though I was not able to eat for 8-12 hours before my scheduled c-section the excitement of knowing I would meet the little man who had been kicking and pushing from the inside of me for months took over the feeling of starvation.

I was scheduled for a c section at 12:30 and arrived at the hospital at 10:30 for prep. I had one last ultrasound to prove the baby was still in fact head up and hadn’t magically turned (which he hadn’t). After the ultrasound we went over the birth plan and I had to make the decision on who I wanted in the room with me. I had initially wanted both my mom and Marcus in with me as I gave birth (vaginally) but since it was a big surgery they only allowed one 😦 Of course I chose Marcus but it was hard breaking the news to my mom.

It was time for surgery! Finalyl at about 1:30 they called me in! I went in alone at first and got my spinal injection which would numb me from the breasts down… this was the weirdest experience by far. My lower body felt heavy and out of my control. I felt paralyzed! I could feel touch but had no idea if it was hot or cold or painful. They called Marcus in as soon as they made the incision. It took about 7 minutes from the incision to the moment Miles came out ! I felt tons of pressure and tugging and then a sort of relief as the injected me with morphine the moment he was out.

They showed me a bloody, creamy, crying little baby over the curtain separating me from seeing what was going on then they took him to the side nursery table to be checked, cleaned, weighed etc.
Marcus followed….
I laid there in a feeling of ecstasy awaiting the moment where I would finally get to see my little guy up close and personal.

They brought Miles over and laid him on my neck. This was the feeling I had heard so much about. INSTANT LOVE, INSTANT CONNECTION. FOR LIFE.

After a few minutes they had to take him away for further tests in the nursery and I was to get stitched up and start the recovery process. Marcus followed Miles and I laid there for another 30 minutes getting closed up and wheeled off to the recovery room. I had to wait close to 3 hours before seeing him again, which was a TOTAL dissapointment on the hospitals end considering they lost my paperwork and didn’t check on the status of my recovery as often as they should have.

well well…. I was finally reunited with my little man and things started to escalate as I was a new mom and my life with this little being had just begun… My whole family was there (mom, dad, brother and sister from LA) and we all couldn’t wait to hold and love him.

Time to try breastfeeding!…..

will post more after Yoga this afternoon!
XOXO puss puss

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Pregnancy from HELL

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I first found out I was pregnant around April 15th. I remember constantly feeling nauseas and every smell, sight and even sound of food would send me running outside to throw up. After a couple days of not feeling like myself I decided to take a test while I was at work and felt texting was the best way to tell Marcus the news… haha. Anyways I had found out pretty early as I was only about 4 weeks pregnant which meant a LOOOOOONG pregnancy was ahead.

I continued to puke almost through the 5th month and had the worst back pain of my life from then on. I was constantly tired and had INTENSE migraines… though thanks to the throwing up and HATING of food I only gained about 28 lbs (12.7kg) which is on the lower side of pregnancy gain, and it was all in my stomach.

Anyways… after the 5th month I started showing and found out I was having a boy which was the coolest and best part of being pregnant, I remember feeling like it was taking forever to get to that apt and once it did time just flew by… sortv’e

The back pain was unbearable and at my 36th week I found out baby Miles was breech. (head up) By this point in the pregnancy the baby should be head down and preparing for birth. I had the option of trying to “turn” the baby with the help of my OBGYN but with the risk of cord strangulation, baby turning back again, pain, and an emergency c section if things go wrong. So I decided to skip this invasive procedure and schedule a planned c section for December 3, 2013.

It was pretty cool knowing the day I was to go in however I was terrified that things would go wrong or something would be wrong with the little guy (typical pregnancy thoughts). I dreamt weird dreams that last week that I would give birth to all sorts of different animals and creatures… weird stuff.

The night before Marcus & I decided to go out for one last hoora and enjoy ourselves as a couple before the baby one last time for at least a few months!

Birth coming in the next post…

once again so sorry these are long I just want to make sure everyone knows everything about my background and how I got to where I am today!

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P.S. Find me on Instagram
@destinyllff

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how it all began…

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So to keep it short and sweet my Swedish adventures began in 2009 when I moved to Santa Barbara to be with a Swedish boy I had fallen for… not “the boy” however. After this boy had to return to his homeland “Sweden” for good I decided I would do whatever it took to move there and study or work abroad to make things work.

Months went by, communication was lost & distance made the heart grow apart in this case. 10 months later I was offered an Au Pair position for a Swedish family in Stockholm who had three little boys. I was offered a live in nanny position with decent pay and for a years minimum commitment. I couldn’t have been more thrilled!

I moved to Sweden the September of 2010. Might I add the communication between the boy and I had diminished and I was simply there for the love of the country (after visiting for a summer in 09′) and my friends I had made in Santa Barbara that past year.

Things were going just fine and I told myself I wouldn’t fall in love abroad to avoid another heart ache when I had to go back…well

Things turned upside down and changed forever when I was invited to a mutual friends birthday party in which THE BOY (Marcus) was also attending.

Long story short we danced, we drank, we kissed lalalalala and the rest is history.

Well not quite.. after a few months of dating I decided I wouldn’t get attached and get myself into the same situation as before so I ended things. After seeing life through “single eyes” again I realized what I let go might have actually been something worth holding onto so after a few months we decided to make it official and work things out.

So here we were in Stockholm doing perfectly fine when my au pair contract came to an end and it was time for me to go home or find another job. I decided I wanted to give the south of Sweden a shot as that was where my best friend lived so I got a job as a preschool teacher at an international preschool in a town called Lund and lived the crazy and wild student life (with a boyfriend) for a few months.

Things between Marcus and I were rocky during these months because of distance, drinking and a whole lot of miscommunication. Once again distance was tearing up something I loved. We decided it was either time for me to move back to Stockholm or both of us make a big move to California where he would pursue his education and I would finish mine.

California it was….
Santa Barbara to be exact. So here we are today. We have been in California for almost 2.5 years and this last December surprise surprise I gave birth to my little Miles. He is coming up on 4 1/2 months this week and time is flying by.

Marcus is continuing his education and just finished his undergrad at Santa Barbara City College in Business Management and played as a kicker for the American football team there and is now looking to transfer.
I stopped going to school realizing it wasn’t for me after too many missed classes and continued to work as a behavioral interventionist working with kids and adults with special needs at home and in the community and am now a stay at home mom working with several clients part time.

This summer we will journey to Stockholm, Sweden for Miles to visit his homeland and the rest of his family and all of our friends for the summer with a little stop in Paris and hopefully Ireland!

I promise my posts won’t be this long but just thought I would introduce myself before I get into the good stuff 😉

pregnancy & birth story coming next… stay tuned

bed time !
xoxo puss puss

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So here it is…

I know this is my second blog so far since my darling little baby Miles has entered my life but unfortunately my last blog portal wasn’t working out. Since WordPress has always been the easiest for me to work with I thought I would start fresh.

I am now promising to dedicate myself to blogging and keeping up with my posts for all my lovely faithful followers out there if you promise to keep me entertained with comments, likes or at least page views to let me know you’re still there.

Though being a full time mommy and caretaker for both kids with and without special needs in my community takes up most of my time I figured if I have time to read blogs I have time to post 🙂

My next post will be a refresher on who I am and the story of how my Swedish boyfriend and I met in Sweden, moved to California and had our darling little Miles who is 4.5 months now!

I will then follow with my birth story and how the last few months have been with everything from breastfeeding to crying to laughing and everything in between.

This blog will be filled with family, babies, work and as many cute outfits as I can pull together and take a picture of before they get puked or peed on 🙂

Enjoy. Puss puss xo

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