Making up my mind… keyword MY

by destinyflores

Ok… so the hardest thing about being a mom so far is the amount of opinions, criticism, theories, statistics, comments, and BULLSHIT (basically) you get from not only your own parents but friends, internet, bloggers, and complete strangers. I am a HUGE reader and believer in internet research but the amount of forums and comments that linger around online these days cloud my mind…

From the second I found out I was pregnant I downloaded pregnancy apps, read the classics like ”what to expect when expecting” & pregnancy for dummies. I joined groups in Santa Barbara for expecting mothers and visited my gyno constantly. My parents of course also joined in and gave as much advice as possible… I tried my hardest to follow my own instincts and path from the beginning but how do you tell your mom who raised 3 kids perfectly fine that you plan on doing things a little differently. We argued on almost everything from ”your eating for two” to ”you need to rest more” and everything in between. I thought finally once the baby was here and named (which was also a NIGHTMARE) things would change… pshhhh

 

as other moms reading I am sure you all know what I mean when you really feel like something is the right thing to do and all the sudden it gets smashed and bashed and spit out in front of you.. here are a few things that I totally changed my mind on (some plenty of times)

 

1. I would have an ALL NATURAL non invasive birth without an epidural… well he was breech and wouldn’t turn, pair that with too small of a pelvis and a heart shaped uterus and you get a big fat C-Section with tons of drugs and a 3 hour gap after giving birth from when I actually got to hold and love the little guy…. ugh

2. I registered above all for the baby björn carrier only to hear now how ”bad” it is for baby’s groin and legs because of the way their carried. I then recieved the Moby which was supposed to be much better but was only a PAIN IN THE ASS to wrap and carry around… Ergo then came into my life and I have been in love since day 1. Marcus uses the babybjörn every now and then & I have nothing against it for short time uses or facing out!

3. I said I wouldn’t use a pacifier… I gave him one 3 days after he was born because I was tired of using my dirty finger. You do what you gotta do…

4. I said NO formula. His blood sugar was low and he had to have a few ounces of formula the first 3 days he was born … luckily he still loves the boobies

5. Had no idea how milk supply worked and was clueless about ”nipple confusion”. I did NOTHING but pump and almost ONLY bottle fed because I thought it was easier to get some sleep at night with both Marcus and I feeding him .. I pumped almost 15 times a day resulting in CONSTANT engorgment and swelling and leaking.. finally saw a consultant and was told to stop totally for a month and let baby regulate everything. Luckily he latched immediately and never caused pain & loved it all (still does)

6. I panicked about BF’ing in public in the beginning and would hide in my car or sit on a toilet in a nasty bathroom stall but now WHEREVER WHENEVER (I use a cover though, I’m not that open)

7. I though co sleeping was dangerous or that I would smash him while I slept… both Marcus and I have NEVER even come close & now he yells or gets mad if we even cover him with a blanket….

8. I also thought co sleeping would lead to attachment issues and result in baby never wanting to sleep alone but he actually sleeps more when me and my milk smell aren’t around haha & the only reason we co slept was because we had a one bedroom and a small co sleeper bassinet. We still do for that reason here in Sweden but when we go back I can’t wait to crib train & get back to snuggling with my man…

9. Rice cereal at 3 weeks… lots of moms did this including mine when I was small and I hear it all the time from her and my grandma. Unfortunately these days even by my doctor it isn’t recommended at such a young age and especially for breastfed babies which I wasn’t and neither was my mom. ps.. I don’t even know what rice cereal is because I never see it anywhere or know anyone who uses it

10. Last and not least… Miles is now 6.5 months and after trying to introduce pureed foods the last couple weeks and having no luck I have decided to back off. I found myself getting more excited about it then he was & why? He loves BFing and is gaining more than enough weight, is healthy, hasn’t been sick with more than the sniffles once, and it’s free, easy and suppppper convenient. Though it takes a toll on my body & leads to less clothing options for mamma, milk stained bras and tank tops, sensitive nipples & the pain of pumping if I want to have more than a glass of wine… it’s only going to be for another 4-6 months and then I have ME back… it’s all for him at this point & totally worth it!

I have been doing a lot of reading about Baby Led Weaning and decided it sounds like something I would like to try. From now on I will give Miles a bit of whatever we are eating (mushy & safe of course) and introduce him slowly into the world of eating. Yesterday he had a few strawberries from our dessert and a smashed boiled potato. I am in no rush and though my mom begs to start feeding him rice and beans all the time… this is MY baby & I have decided what I think is best. In the long run I am the ONE person in the whole world who would do EXACTLY what I feel is best for both him and I.

 

thoughts, tips?

ps this is totally opinionated and I don’t have anything against the babybjörn users, wrap users, co sleepers, bottle feeders, and anyone else and I hope you feel the same for me. I just had to vent a little about the constant struggle to do right. Raising a baby is the most rewarding but exhausting thing I have EVER done and will continue to do till I am gone and I love every minute of it. I have learned so much from friends, family and total strangers but honesly you don’t know ANYTHING till your in it. I never imagined I would know when he’s hungry or be able to tell one cry from another but it all really does come naturally…

 

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