One Miles per hour

My Swedish American love story.

Category: Uncategorized

being a parent… (rant)

I came across one of these ”attachment parenting” blogs recently and was blown away by the writer. She expressed her opinions on parenting but made it very clear how everyone’s child is their own and everyone does what is absolutely best for both baby and parent when the time comes.

usually.

I love reading up on different parenting methods and have done my share of trying different ways to ”raise”’ Miles but honestly in the end it’s all modified. I have heard tons of ”expert” parenting advice from just about EVERYONE with and without kids from the second I announced my pregnancy and it’s probably the most exhausting part about being a mom. How do I politely say ”that’s absolutely not something I believe in or want to try with Miles” without offending someone. I wish people would just let us be at times… for me, when it comes to my friends with babies, I haven’t said anything unless asked.

friend: ”’how was breastfeeding for the first time? any tips?”
des: ”I’ve got tons… blah blah blah, but then again this worked for me and everyone is different”

vs:
me: ”your going to breastfeed right? It’s super easy and they will ALWAYS latch you just have to get through the pain and push through it .

This is probably why I like getting most of my help from the internet. There is no one there judging which website you read or what you take from the forums. The hardest has been from my parents. I don’t want to offend the way they raised me or my siblings but that was more than 24 years ago that I was a baby and things have changed dramatically….

rice cereal isn’t as common and definitely isn’t recommended before 4 months

babies sleep on their backs vs. stomachs or sides

and breastfeeding is far more common than it once was

I know for the rest of our lives I will hear what I’m doing wrong or weirdly and it’s just something I have to live with & I promise Miles daddy & I will do absolutely whatever it takes to give you the best life we can. I promise to introduce you to as many exotic flavors, fruits and veggies as possible so your palate grows to love it all & I promise to let you visit the world & spread your little wings as soon as you can, even if I don’t want to let go.

I love you//we love you & believe it or not we’re doing what we think is best…. xx

Advertisements

thank you!

Thanks for the tasty recipes I have received both my email and through comments. Miles is on his way to becoming a healthy eater!

Marcus and I have created a new goal while were here in Stockholm before we go home… we have decided to google the top coffee shops to visit and check them off our list. We all know I’m a sucker for good coffee and lately I would kill for a cup of French Press or Handlebar from back home.

I found a few cool blogs posting about coffee shop experiences & have decided to follow their footsteps. One cafe’ Johan & Nystrom has an around the world coffee tasting I am dying to take part in! Anyways… enjoying breakfast now along side a cucumber eating babe while watching Swedish cartoons. Life is good.

Having lunch with Marcus’ mom soon then off to swim and tan again πŸ™‚

just one of those days…

Today started pretty early. 5:30 am to be exact. Miles had a rough adjustment to the new place we’re staying in and fell asleep around 630 and then woke up shortly after & didn’t officially go back to bed till 9:30pm.

We were offered Marcus’ sister’s 3 bedroom apartment just outside the city to stay in for the month of July & since it’s both closer to the city and our own space we decided to take her up on the offer. We spent last night and this morning moving and cleaning Marcus’ dad’s apartment. Luckily Miles fell back asleep around 6:30 (an hour after he woke up) till about 8:30 & Marcus took him for a little while I caught some Z’s….

After all the moving and chaos I met a friend Johan for Indian food during his lunch break. I must say Indian is my absolute FAVO and Marcus hates it so it was a real treat being able to eat it with someone today. πŸ™‚

Today and yesterday have both been the hottest days so far since we’ve been here so I spent most of it laying out in the courtyard of our apartment alongside with Miles.

pretty uneventful day for the most part and now I finally got Miles to bed after an hour of trying. He skipped his early evening nap so I am hoping he stays asleep for awhile now…. the late Swedish summer sun is killing our bedtime routine. He both goes to bed late and wakes up early …. the sun doesn’t set till close to 11:30pm and rises around 4am… wahhhhh

anyways time for some decaf coffee & trashy TV while Marcus heads to football practice… oh ya maybe dinner?

20140707-201426-72866222.jpg

20140707-201426-72866283.jpg

20140707-201426-72866329.jpg

Birth facts continued:

I wrote 5 random facts from my labor and delivery on my Instagram account:
Milesandmamma
Follow and like πŸ™‚

The rest I’ll share here:
6. I had an anxiety attack and panicked and begged them to stop during the whole c section until Miles was finally out and I was injected with morphine
7. I only say miles for a few minutes as he laid on my neck after being cleaned up before they took him away and I recovered for 3 hours. Longest wait of my life.
8. Breastfeeding was a success thanks to my mom shoving it into his mouth alongside the lactation consultant but if I have another baby I am demanding an attempt at breastfeeding as soon as he’s out
9. Miles sugar was low and the nurses formula fed him behind my back leading to an argument after his sugar returned to a normal state the next day and only a couple ounces of formula the pediatrician said he was fine and could return to breastfeeding. As I took a nap a nurse fed him a formula bottle to avoid disturbing my sleep. πŸ‘Š I rose hell. (Nothing against formula but I was a scared new mom and after hearing about babies preferring one or the other at a your age or getting nipple confusion I panicked)
10. I got to stay a luxurious 5 nights with all meals included for Marcus and I from their fresh cafe downstairs and tons of help with Miles as I recovered from a painful surgery.

Please ask and questions about anything your interested in from breastfeeding to c sections ……

Love love

20140706-112322-41002794.jpg

20140706-112322-41002693.jpg

20140706-112322-41002895.jpg

20140706-112322-41002954.jpg

This is me after a good nights rest

coffee gets my brain going. I can’t possibly start a morning without it. Lucky me this morning Miles woke around 7 and played in bed and jumped in his door swing watching Finding Nemo before coming back in bed with half asleep mommy to nurse and sleep till now… 10am! whoop whoop πŸ™‚ I think the less late he naps at night the better at this point.

He napped at 930am yesterday his usual time then at 11 we headed for the American 4th (5th) of July BBQ thrown by the American Club Of Sweden in Lidingo. It was a day filled with national anthems (awkwardly belted and sang in front of swedes), hamburgers, warm sand and picnic blankets. Miles loved it all.

Next year he can hopefully participate in more of the toddler activities or actually care about the Swedish firemen and their truck that payed a visit… we shoved him inside anyways πŸ˜‰

ok so where was I… ya he morning napped & then we went to the BBQ and he surprisingly fell asleep nursing on the picnic blanket and napped for a little in his stroller around 2pm. We left the BBQ around 3 and he was too excited to take another nap before bed. After his bath he started to get tired (6pm) I hate when he does this because it’s too late and close to bedtime for a nap so I either give in with a cat nap and push his bed time or keep him awake and cranky.

He fell asleep around 630/645. I poured myself a glass of wine & dreamt myself away ”fake trip planning” on my ipad… Maldives, Bali, India, Dubai.. half way through my glass the little man woke up and wasn’t showing any signs of going back down.

We played for a little and watched some animal planet on the couch, skyped Uncle David in the US & dreamt ourselves away together planning tropical winter trips πŸ™‚

He went back to bed about 30min-hour later and I followed shortly after. Daddy didn’t get home till late from a night out with the guys watching the World Cup and drinking a little too many beers… luckily I got a good night’s rest and am in good spirits lately. Again.. must be the sun. πŸ™‚

breakfast time now …. on the balcony…. in the sun.

puss puss//xo

20140706-102913-37753746.jpg

20140706-102913-37753399.jpg

20140706-102913-37753011.jpg

20140706-102912-37752920.jpg

20140706-102913-37753823.jpg

4th of July….

20140704-175054-64254279.jpg

20140704-175054-64254325.jpgHappy Birthday America, love Sweden. Today is 4th of July and though I usually spend it running the streets of Long Beach (or biking) with a camel-backpack filled with tequila or vodka red-bull and hiding beers in red cups while eating delicious American BBQ this year will be a bit different, as was last year. (good different)

Last year Marcus & I joined another couple on a sunset cruise around the SB harbor while they enjoyed some beer & wine & I sat pregnant and nauseous. This year will at least be a little better than that…

Unfortunately back home at my parents my grandpa (dad’s dad) passed away last night, July 3rd. His age had taken a toll on him the last few months and as he lay sick and old in a home with careless nurses a urine infection got the best of him…. though we weren’t close my dad is the one I feel the most sad for. His mother passed away when he was 6 on Christmas Eve and now his dad the day before 4th of July… My dad is one of the strongest people I know and I know deep down he may want to cry but can’t find the strength to.

anyways… too personal. I love you dad and wish I was there to have a cold one with you on this holiday. Miles & I send our love…

well well… Miles has been amazing today and in good spirits. It must be due to the fact that the sun finally showed it’s face about Stockholm and we escaped the apartment for some picnic at the park. After running around in daddy’s arms we headed home to start dinner.

Pork filet w. fresh Swedish potatoes (cant’ explain the difference between these and American potatoes but they’re covered in dirt because they actually are FRESH & are tiny and cook fast and taste amazing paired with a nice sauce) along with a red wine reduction a la’ chef Marcus.

We stocked up on rose’ wine and beer to finish the night on the balcony celebrating America 6,000+ miles away….after Miles falls asleep of course.

cheers!

20140704-175054-64254186.jpg

20140704-175053-64253821.jpg

Ok seriously

So when I first started breastfeeding I panicked. I had no idea what was appropriate, what people would think, or how to discretely breastfeed.

I absolutely don’t care anymore.

I, however don’t feel comfortable personally posting breastfeeding pictures consider I think it’s an intimate moment between my and baby just as it is for me and Marcus. I don’t judge those who do. I think it’s beautiful and I’ve never made a better decision than pushing through the pain of sore nipples and engourgment and waking more frequently to feed. I probably won’t Bf past a year because I plan on going back to work full time and unless I can make time to pump every 3 hours at work I’m not sure if it’ll last.

Breastfeeding has done wonders for Miles. He had his first cold recently and it only lasted a few days. He’s big and healthy and it works 99% of the time to soothe those late nights of teething tantrums.
As I said I had no idea where and when I was “”allowed”” to breastfeed in the beginning. I am guilty of sitting in a big stall in a restaraunt bathroom while my food got cold for almost 40 minutes of getting comfortable and getting Miles to latch as I sat on a toilet with toddlers banging on the door and peaking under to see what I was doing.
worst first public breastfeeding experience ever

Not to mention the sanitation factor or the fact that other people need to use the bathroom too.

Marcus and I used to walk all the way back to the car when we were out somewhere for me to feed cramped in the back seat with Miles head leaning against the car window. which was also covered with a blanket

Now that I look back…. I don’t know who I was afraid of. I must admit Marcus was more of the pusher for feeding in private not realizing how ok it was by almost everyone or how it affected me and Miles. After crying episodes and long walks to the car we threw in the towel.

I taught myself in IKEA one day to breastfeed in the baby bjΓΆrn and from then on our lives were changed. Miles loves side feeding or feeding in a carrier. I am pushing more for the classic lap holding lately since it’s convenient when out but keeping a cover over Us is a pain in the ass and let’s be honest who likes wearing nursing tops everyday.

It makes me sad that people get uncomfortable with a nursing mom in public and to be honest I’ll take the stares and whispers over a crying hungry baby any day. I don’t show much and if I have an occasional nip slip well…. It is what it is.

Thoughts?
I read an amazing arrival from one of my favorite bloggers the C word today and had to share.

article found here

20140704-134922-49762785.jpg

Santa Barbara Zoo simultaneously breastfeeding & walking.

7 months…..

Yesterday Miles officially turned 7 months old. I can’t believe how fast time flies. When I look back on those first 3 months especially it feels like a blur. I remember having this small being for the very first time and between Marcus & I thinking it was so easy considering how much he slept.

I always wondered why people complained of sleep deprivation…. Now I know.

I think the slowest months have been between 5 and now. He advances in so many ways like sitting, standing with assistance, talking (bapadasama), eating solids, yelling when he wants something … The list goes on

I feel though as if time has been going slowly the last two months. I guess because they’ve been the hardest. We have been stressed moving out, in, being unemployed, finishing finals and planning our summer in Sweden and now the stresses of moving back and finding a place start all over again.

I’m sitting here drinking my 2nd cup of Joe this morning and scanning craigslist for decent 2 bedrooms in Santa Barbara as if I can even do something about it from way over here… I can’t wait to find a place to call home. I’m dying to plant our very own garden, build some DIY patio/ indoor furniture and just settle for once …

Well it’s morning nap time.
Happy 4th of July America. I miss you

20140704-091407-33247912.jpg

Home sweet home

Ok mom here it goes… I’m ready to come home. All these years away from Sweden I found myself wanting to move there more and more and feeling like there was something here I couldn’t get back home.

I realize now it’s not what it was for me when I was
1. Not a mom
2. Not living with my boyfriend
3. Had a steady income
4. better weather
5. Didn’t love Santa Barbara as much as I do now

Just before we came here it felt as if we had it all. (I feel like that every time I go somewhere new). I had an apartment I loved, Miles was in a perfect routine and slept through the night, We started making amazing dinners together and had a new ”wine plan”

Wine plan: Visit a tasting room nearby and buy a new, fun, affordable bottle of wine to sip throughout the week (as needed).

I miss Trader Joe’s more than anything by the way…
I also miss my family of course and wish we could have spent Mile’s first Fourth of July together enjoying BBQ & fireworks with friends.. I am glad Miles got to visit his Swedish family and I am sure we will return soon but I am ready to get back and once again start our lives.. πŸ™‚

I also miss my friends terribly. I miss spending the weekends running around the funk zone eating fancy cheeses, soaking up the sun, and sipping delicious local wines. I missed my friends here when I was in Santa Barbara but now that I am here 2.5 years later I realize people work (full time), it’s raining constantly which leaves no room for outdoor picnics, and it’s BEYOND expensive to do anything whether it’s coffee or drinks. :/I miss the simplicity of California from the way people can walk around in flip flops or push their strollers on the beach socializing and waving at anyone that passes by.

I have joined mom groups here (mostly Swedish) but it isn’t the same.Either people get too nervous to speak English which is fine since I am fluent in Swedish but they usually don’t think I can even understand so they usually avoid me all together.

ok enough whining… we are only here for another month or so and we have tons of friends and family to visit and places to take Miles so I’ll stop dreaming of Trader Joes & California whine.. for now

20140703-202846-73726350.jpg

20140703-202846-73726146.jpg

New ideas…..

Sitting here with a bowl of cheese balls and a glass of wine I find myself thinking… thinking mainly about this blog and what direction it’s going. Miles has quite a day today… between teething and growth spurts I don’t know whats worse. I woke up with a pounding headache this morning and thank god there are two of us in this equation, Marcus took over with Miles this morning for the most part. I find myself walking between the bedroom to breastfeed and the living room sofa to rest in between the tantrums and fits Miles throws throughout the day.

He has started sleeping till a decent time at least in the mornings but still wakes constantly throughout the night which usually ends in a nursing session back to sleep. Thank god for co sleeping.

I have decided after reading my favorite blogs today and realizing I usually don’t prefer reading about people’s daily lives as far as their ”outfit of the day” or what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner (unless it’s a tasty recipe I can steal). I prefer the real blogs. I like the ones that tell it like it is, I love and respect mommy bloggers that express feelings and real emotions on everything from staying up all night with a teether to watching baby take their first steps.

I have come across blogs that tend to sugar coat everything. I guess I can’t prove for sure that they’re lives aren’t as perfect as it seems but I can only imagine considering I am a mom of a 7 month old and find myself in between hugging him and slamming my head into a wall. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine but the moments that are, no matter how small, take over the moments like crying for an hour straight with daddy before finally getting to sleep and rejecting a perfectly pumped bottle of milk (letting it go to waste).

I promise from now on to keep it real & keep the bullshit aside. I love being a mom… don’t get me wrong but I promise to tell it like it is and keep you as inside my world as possible.

from here on out…

20140703-202815-73695230.jpg