One Miles per hour

My Swedish American love story.

real talk

This post may or may not be interesting to those of you without a baby but I thought I would share the habits and routines we have here at ”home”. (note: these will all dramatically change once we travel through time -9 hours when we fly back to Cali)

So once Miles was about 3/4 months he started sleeping through the night or waking once to nurse at the most around 2/3am. He went to bed by 730 and woke up around 7/8. Like I’ve mentioned 3289723 times he didn’t handle the jet lag too well and luckily since he’s still young we flipped the routine pretty easily and the last month he has been sleeping fine. His naps are regulated to about once around 930am, once around 1pm and a late afternoon nap around 4/5pm. He has now stretched his bedtime to about 830/9 which is fine since the sun doesn’t set till around 11pm anyways here during the summer.

The only issue we have had since coming here is that he wants to either spoon with me till he falls asleep or nurse till he’s just about passed out and I sneak in a pacifier. I love this more than anything but it makes it difficult for me to leave ever for any reason. If Marcus or anyone else lays with him he just about screams and cries himself to sleep, which I hate & don’t feel is necessary for a baby his age. I have had to pass on plenty of dinner invites, parties that start earlier than 930pm or drinking wine before he’s asleep. (ok that made me sound like an alchy but you know what I mean ;)) So after racking my brain coming up with different ideas I have decided to start bottle feeding more often than I have been… which has been maybe 3 times since we have been here. I have been with Miles all day every day for the most part or only gone a couple hours and back in time for a feeding. Miles will drink a bottle if he absolutely HAS to and the only bottles we have ever tried, bought or used are Avent, and he’s still using the newborn nipple since he basically drowns with any other level ones.

Ok… so what’s the problem? The problem is he puts up a horrible fight over drinking from a bottle and even after it’s done he tantrums and acts like a maniac because it wasn’t as satisfying as mamma. Which means when I do drink, he will eat and take a bottle but he’s miserable and crying anyways .

new plan: before this post gets any longer I have started bottle feeding and taking turns doing it with Marcus while I am around so he doesn’t think boobies are the only way he can eat. I also don’t want him to relate a bottle to ONLY Marcus and me being gone. Yesterday he took a bottle without a fight and passed out while drinking in his stroller while we were out shopping. Tonight was a little harder but I ended up holding him on my side hip and Marcus & I took turns feeding him while I stood and watched and comforted with just my voice.

I was thrilled to see this work 😀
After his bottle we played a bit and I went into the room, laid him in his bed and he fell asleep without me laying next to him . Maybe today was a lucky day but I am now going to bottle feed before bed so he 1. Gets a full belly 2. Gets used to the idea of me not ALWAYS being there 3. I don’t have to be the only one doing bedtime

ps when I say he has a bottle I mean it’s filled with breastmilkk. I plan on breastfeeding till he’s 1 at least but would like to introduce more foods in the meantime so it’s not his only source of nutrition and other people can have fun feeding too 😀 Is it just me or do any of you mammas get super excited when something works.. I felt really proud tonight of both me and Marcus and somedays when we feel like we’re totally failing I will remember a moment like tonight when we put our brains together and re trained our little man.

My goal: Miles to be comfortable drinking from a bottle from anyone if need be & for him to be able to be laid in his crib/bed/our bed when it’s time and fall asleep with his pacifier and lovie.

ps: we have stopped co sleeping as the bed situation we have now isn’t big enough or safe enough for Miles & he has been sleeping in another room because it’s darker and less noisy since we watch TV, and stay up late. The last 4 nights he hasn’t woke up once from 8/9pm-6am! I have woken up engorged and panicking that something has happened to him and begged Marcus to go check because I couldn’t handle… he has just been sound asleep. I am so proud of him but my swollen boobs are taking the toll. I have been pumping like crazy both for a back up supply and to keep producing!

hope this helps any other struggling mommies out there.
ps: as for getting him to take the bottle. It has helped when we give it to him before we think he will start fussing and sometimes we place it next to him laying down and he plays with it for a bit and feeds himself. We try not to make it a big deal, hold him when he’s eating (unless it’s in an upright position) and we keep it stress free and relaxed. This kid really feeds off our emotions and does so much better when things are ”chill”




time for ourselves

Marcus & I got to spend some time with just the two of us this evening. After a day at the nearby splash pool with Miles & some grocery/clothes shopping we headed home to meet grandma. Marcus’ mom has been trying to get us out of the house for awhile now both so she could spend time with Miles & so we could have some time to ourselves. So nice 🙂

well after hunting and harassing Yelp/google/whatsupstockholm we finally decided on dinner and drinks at Berns, a local bar/nightclub/restaurant in the upper class part of town 😉 why not right?

well…. once we got on the subway my dusty old highheels, which haven’t been worn in ages, starting to rub and wear on my feet resulting in blisters and me almost falling down in front of everyone. We called it quits on journeying our way towards Berns and paid a visit to Garden (an outside bar in the hotel central area of town). (one of my favorite drink spots)

after a pre drink that cost an arm & a leg (dry daq. $20) we aimed for a nearby sushi place with high ratings and after taking the wrong bus and having to walk further than before just to arrive at a ”closed for summer” restaurant. wahhhhhhhhhh

I realized by this point I was craving tapas and the clock was ticking since we had to be back in time to put Miles to bed. He hasn’t been taking a bottle so well and we are working on some new ”sleep training” issues (I’ll go more into that in a later post)…basically he won’t go to sleep with anyone else but mamma …

ok so we stumbled around the cobble stoned roads of Stockholm and came to a random tapas place and called it a night. After a glass or two of tasty spanish wine and some decent tapas we trained it back to the little man who was anxiously waiting for us at the stations end.

We realized tonight as much as we ”need” a break from being parents sometimes, I really don’t want one. I love being with my two guys and as much as Miles drives me insane at times I miss him like crazy when I’m gone and my little mommy heart longs for him every second we’re apart. Jesus… what will I do when he moves out?

alright time for some netflix & swedish candy. Back to reality. Tonight was fun babe… let’s stick to what we do best 😉







aja baja

So far nothing within Miles’ reach is safe. He luckily isn’t crawling or pulling himself up onto things yet but HELL is going to break loose when that day comes. So far his highchair can only be in the absolute CENTER of a room away from everything.

Today I placed him in the kitchen with some cucumber sticks next to the dining room table and stupidly decided it was time to pee for the first time all day. Silly mamma… you don’t get potty breaks.

Anyways I come back to drawers that were within reach open and everything in them thrown onto the floor and/or in his mouth. As much as I love his curiosity I don’t even know where to begin with baby proofing.

as for today Marcus had football and I wandered the streets in search for the perfect hat. Done 🙂 (pictures coming later when I have the energy)
After a kebab pita roll because my fav. indian rest. was finished with their lunch special of the day Miles & i made our way back home.

After a few naps, movies, reading, playing, a glass of wine, a bath session on the balcony in the warm summer sun (ended abruptly after the water turned brown and green if you know what I mean) daddy came home and it was time for dinner & bedtime for Miles.



Dinner & drinks

Having Angie, Jens & sweet baby Alvar over tonight for dinner. After dinner A & I are leaving the babes asleep and home with the daddies while we step out for a breath of fresh Stockholm summer air 🙂

Can’t wait!
Ps have you had a chance to download the party party app!? I love it. By one of my favorite blogs

a beautiful mess

Follow my Instagram and watch my experiments with the app throughout the night ❤️


Outfit inspo one teaspoon denim & Birkenstock

zoo day with my babe

Yesterday we spent the day at the zoo, Skansen, here in Stockholm. After a train ride into the city and another train ride along the water we finally arrived. Miles loves the train luckily and even though he tries to lick and suck on all the handles and poles the smile he puts on stranger’s faces makes it all worth it.

The zoo was HUGE so to speak. We spent a lot of time walking around and talking and taking care of Miles, more than actually looking at animals. Most of the animals were either hiding surrounded by huge groups of people so getting a good look at them was almost impossible. I finally got to see the bears. I had only been here during the late fall and winter and they were hibernating so this time they were all out running around, laying around, climbing trees & just being as cute as possible. Miles loves animals believe it or not and his favorite were the sheep and goats because they actually came close to us and yelled & jumped around. Maybe owning a farm is something we should look into 😉

The last few weeks he has been really paying attention to the smallest details and it’s adorable. He can spot a tag on something from a mile away (exaggerating mamma) & loves zippers, buttons and just about anything he gets his hands on. He will grab a toy or piece of food I give and turn it all angles, look inside, underneath & then swap hands and do it all over again. Then it goes straight into the mouth for a final analysis. I remember the days when he would spit his pacifier out and I would have to reach my hand back while driving or pick it up off the floor 238742873 times. Now he takes it out and puts it back in as needed. Sometimes he will just be playing amongst a pile of toys and spot his pacifier and all the sudden it’s in his mouth. cute.

He even stops to look at it first, adjusting it in his hands to find the right spot. Sometimes it goes in upside down and either way he just sucks proudly 🙂

ya I sound proud… it’s the smallest things this little babe does that just put a smile on my face. Things I try and document and take pictures of. Thanks to him my phone has had to be uploaded onto a hard-drive almost 4 times since he’s been born haha… I miss the good old days when you would take a picture hoping it turned out and going to get them developed and having to wait 4-7 days before the results. Usually 40% of them came out the way they were supposed to while the rest were just a blurr or a moment in time you had forgotten even happened …. My plan when I get back is to buy an old school polaroid camera. I know the film is expensive so I’ll use it for special occasions.

plan B: Get all my pictures from day 1 developed off my phone and hard-drive. Turns out it was already going to be around $50 when I tried after just 4 months of Miles being in our lives. Can’t imagine now 4 months later and a whole country of photos. YIKES

ps thanks to a beautiful mess I downloaded the latest app PartyPartyApp! Check them out. It’s already #1 in the App Store and super fun for taking photo booth, slideshow, cropped pictures… ❤







I’m still the same old me

Finally got an invite yesterday to go out with some girlfriends for an ”after work” as they call it here in Sweden. Afterwork translates to happy hour usually without the happy hour prices we have back home. After a long days of work you go out with co-workers, friends, sig-others to share drinks and appetizers. Wednesdays are pretty special here as they are also known as ”little satruday”, back home we have ”’Thirsty Thursday” in the good ol college days which are celebrated as an extension of the weekend.

Not sure what makes Wednesday so special here but anyways.

I have only been out out once since I’ve been here and I barely survived the hangover from hell not to mention the engorgment throughout the night and the shitty cost of a taxi back home because I couldn’t manage to figure out the night bus situation (wouldv’e taken an hour by bus anyways).

point is: I’m over the night life. I would kill however to get the chance to get some wine with friends at a loungy type of place where the music and lights are turned down low and there is no creepy wasted guy trying to cop a feel or check out your breasts which are only large because it’s been too long since you BF’d your babe… gross TMI

From what I’ve gathered is that most of my ”once friends” are either convinced now that I am a mom I want nothing more than to be home smothered in baby’s love or that I am tied down and can’t leave the house for a drink now that I’m a mommy. well well. two things wrong

1. Yes I love being smothered in Miles’ tiny little body and have my face scratched, sucked on and slobbered all over all day and night long but cleaning up and putting some bronzer on for once actually sounds fun

2. Yes I’m a mom and I have responsibilities far greater than some of my friends now that I’ve got a little man to care for, feed, play with and show the way but I am also human and still only 24 years old. My life is just beginning and though I don’t feel like getting wasted, crawling home & throwing up all night and the day after I still love going out, socializing and just meeting new people in general. I will however keep my cool, limit my alcohol intake, avoid cig smoke for Miles sake & get home at a decent time giving myself some hours of sleep before tackling the day ahead.

with that being said… please don’t forget about me. You’d be surprised what i can still make happen. 🙂

oh ya… when Miles does tag along for lunch, fika, dinner, picnic beware I may spend 80% of our conversation playing with him, feeding him, changing him, holding him or staring at him. I have grown an extra set of ears for you






I’ve been hunting online for a new place in Santa Barbara and I find myself going a few hundred over our monthly budget each new post I see. yikes.

I have to remove myself now since all I find are houses and apartments ready for move in now or August 1st and we won’t be ready to move in till Sept 1st… no use in looking when I can’t get anything yet & I am sure all these amazing dream apartments I see are gonna be gone by then.

Is a private patio, hardwood floors, fireplace, 2 bedroom, bathroom with a tub, grass area so much to ask for? Well I guess in the meantime I can harass urban outfitters home deco & world market and start couch hunting.

being preggo

The connection we had. The feeling of knowing you were in there and getting to enjoy every breath and step I took knowing you were growing from it. Choosing healthy options & making smart decisions from eating to working out, lifting, and skipping my favorite drink besides water. wine.

I remember HATING being pregnant for almost 90% of it since I was sick beyond belief for most of it and couldn’t even stand being in a grocery store or anywhere that served food. I lived off smoothies and crisp bread with cucumber and butter & surprisingly steak the last month or so.

steak for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Thank you Marcus for sitting alongside me, not judging, and keeping my steak stock up in the fridge ❤ love you

I remember constantly saying I would never do this again and couldn't imagine going through another 9 months & then the second that little screaming body covered in goo was ripped out of me I knew. I could do it 2389791273 times again….

I didn't think I would ever forget the troubles I had during pregnancy but now it all seems like such a blurr. You are the most best amazing, cutest, pain in the ass ball of love that has ever happened to me Miles & I can't imagine life without you.

From the second I knew I was pregnant and was forced to cancel my 5 day dive trip, my job at a winery & stop eating sushi I knew you were gonna be a tough one… 9 months later & a c -section because you were more comfortable right side up your here raising hell and demanding daddy & my attention constantly. I love it. I see so much of myself in you & can't wait to watch you grow and fight your way through life.

As for getting pregnant again. Maybe someday. Not now. I've got my hands full making sure I do this little boy right first & give him every piece of my heart for a few years at least 🙂

coffee makes the world go round

So Marcus and I decided to coffee tour the shit out of Sweden this summer. We are attempting to visit and try the ”top rated and/or most unique” coffee shops around us. We started yesterday with the famous Johan & Nystrom.

Hands down the best coffee I think I have ever had. They are one of Sweden’s biggest roasters and provide most of the coffee shops around town with their delicious brews. Anyone have any recommendations please let me know! Since the weather has been AMAZING lately we have done nothing inside or around my computer which has unfortunately led to a boring blog lacking in updates. sorry.

We spent one day in Norrtalje at a friends’ summer house lakeside eating delicious Swedish strawberries and enjoying the simple things about the countryside including lawn tennis, coffee, boating tours & tons of sun. On our way home we stopped by my friend Angie’s for dinner with her man and baby boy Alvar, Miles’ best friend. They are only a week apart and it’s so fun to watch them grow and develop over the weeks we have spent together.

Thank god Miles fell asleep perfectly after a long night of playing while the grown ups drank sangria & ate delicious BBQ on the patio under the warm Swedish sun. After dessert, coffee & more sangria (Marcus stayed sober to drive) we headed back to Stockholm (about 45min south). It was a real grown up evening and we talked about everything from finding out we were pregnant to giving birth.

The rain decided to pay us a visit yesterday evening and decided to stay for the day today which means we spent most of today inside which Miles is NOT a fan of :/He has been whining NON STOP today & poked his own eye somehow resulting in what looks like a popped blood vessel …poor little guy. Can’t wait for this day to be over so Marcus & I can hit the couch with a Californiacation marathon & a kilo of candy.

goodnight ❤














As you know it has been quite the challenge having Miles here this summer. We have bounced back and forth between friends and family members homes & apartments trying to visit with everyone and have a place to stay. Luckily Miles will sleep anywhere but the trick has been getting him to sleep when it’s almost just as sunny outside at 10pm as it was at 3pm…

He went from an almost flawless routine in SB and was able to fall asleep with either Marcus and I barely holding his hand from the side of the bed or bassinet to now… pacifying himself to sleep with my boob, sweating skin to skin & taking almost 5 attempts every 20 min or so from around 7-830pm. :/ only to wake up again 2-3 times throughout the night to nurse him back to sleep… which usually results in me falling asleep with him in the small kids bed we have him in currently.

I need a massage.

Well well… another month or month and a half left here and I am already counting down the days as to when I can sleep train the shit out of him and get a solid nights sleep.

Anyways on a positive note baby led weaning is going beautifully. Miles has his favorite foods and will try almost anything. He loves to crunch crackers and bread in his hands or against the table so we try to keep things on the mushier side.
-cucumbers, watermelon, chicken, sourdough bread, strawberry, apple & noodles are his favorite so far.

I am still BFing as often as I can and find that he goes anywhere from 3-5 hours in between now which is CRAZY! I am constantly engorged… well was… my supply is going down now and though I should be pumping for a back up supply.. I suck and am either too lazy or would rather force feed him :/ (something I promise I am going to get better at so daddy can take him places every now and then).

what else…
he is quite the bossy little man these days and has started to scream and say “dada”. I am convinced however this doesn’t mean daddy is his first word since we have called Marcus ‘pappa’ since day 1 (Swedish for dad). Marcus will obviously tell you differently haha

Marcus is currently trying to pry me off of the ipad and keep me from planning dream trips around Europe this summer since we would rather spend the money in SB & have a wonderful semester there in a bigger and better apartment than last time. wahhhhhh….

Paris might have to wait this time around since our tickets back home aren’t even booked yet & we are looking at around 6-700 a pop.